its been a while, very long indeed. well, as spoken i seriously hate my job and frankly hate everything to the core right now.. but what to do i still gotta fight the battle, in which i know i will someday still lose.

the reason i stay on, is just to make someone proud and happy. its been awhile im able to do things i really have passion on, things that i feel happy while doing.
i miss painting, i miss taking photos, i miss designing, i miss editing pictures, i miss star gazing.. now all its about chasing the gold, chasing the greens till i no longer find the purpose of it.
even though in all the packed schedule, i tried my best to keep everyone together but things just always fall apart. no matter how hard i fucking try, but it just seems that noone seems to care.
i believe sign are showing i just have to leave, nothing is right anymore, nothing is like what it used to be. everything change, even you try your best to keep the same..
im pretty sure that im giving up school, its literally killing me, even when im not there thoughts of it simply haunt the hell outta me. blessing no blessing, i dont wanna care anymore, even i bet myself that both mum and dad would disapprove me of doing so. i have to face the music rather then kept on failing on the things they wish me to do. let me excel in things i want, rather then to fail on the things im force to do so..

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