Now I get it..

I guess once people what they wanted to achieve, they can just leave the past behind. Probably I’m just not worthy.

I didn’t thought that it would break me even more, when I was practically the last person to know and it was a post from Facebook. Not even a buzz from him. Its kindda heart breaking, that a once upon a time I was the first person he spilled out the beans to. Maybe those were the times, when he was yet to be known and famous.

I was there even before he become this big, I was there when he was dieting, bulking and junking. I was there for the random mood swings which did made me cried and hurt. Tried to cook for him whatever he feels like eating. Frankly speaking, he’s the only friend I’ll consider to clear my schedules and meetings for.

He was like one of the escape I had in my life. He was the one who actually believed in my photography skills and supported me in being better, when noone else did.

I miss those random conversations in the wee hours till I fell asleep. I miss having that clown, who never fail to make me laugh. I miss that big buff guy walking beside, like hell he’s big. I miss Monday’s eating ice-creams. I miss random people watching. I miss random movie hangout. I miss him, always trying to feed me and making fat. I miss those doguebag jokes. I miss him… But he won’t even give a damn.

I’m seriously devastated. I got words to explain how terrible I feel deep inside right now. I’ve already lost hope at home, and knowing that my one and only friend who’ve been there is now gone.

Well I believe that backup plan we have, if we don’t find anyone to share the rest of our lives to and that we would be together, its off then. I strongly believe that he have already found his.

Nothing is able to hold me back from leaving anymore. Probably its best answer anyway…


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