Those small things..

FB is a pain in the ass, it break things apart for the good and for the worse..

How fast can anyone just forget about you and all those promises he makes. All those years of friendship just goes down again and again. Throughout the years, I’ve been stood up for so many times and that you didn’t realized that. Seriously, I thought everything was over but you came up and invited to support you.

Frankly saying you weren’t there in those times I seriously need someone, but with that you thought me how to suck it all up, shut up and move on.

What does it mean to you, what does anything mean to you? When talk about wedding plans? wedding venues? wedding themes? wedding ideas?

Remember, that time when we got lost on the way to Botanic Gardens, you told me what is your dream house and all the criteria of your future life would be.

That look you give me, when you see a young kid or baby and claiming how cute they are.

You wanted a portrait of you hanging in your room, and last year on your birthday I made a collage of the pictures of you I took over the years and gave it to you. People said I’m insane, going that extra mile, when I’m already cooking for you. And on top of that I got a barbell charm neckless to be shipped out from US to here just for you.

For that moment, you gave me hope but then again we were nothing more than friends. Maybe in time, I thought.

I’m sorry cause I remember those small details very carefully and vividly when I just shouldn’t.

I got to be truthful, I’m hurt in every way that is hurtful. I’m broken, I don’t know how much broken I can be anymore.

Even though, I know and believe that we are just friends, you still do not have to hurt me and treat me like a piece of dirt.

Frankly, you are the only one I literally cook for. You are the only one who have hurt me emotionally which words that pierced like a dagger into my heart on that photo shot at Fort Canning. The one I’m willing to go all out for.

I feel sorry to myself, cause I’ve painted a picture perfect partner and you seem to match him. The one who is able to guide me Spiritually, carry me physically and help me mentally.

Maybe its time I hear to myself and just be a part of CF, I know how much you disagree with CF noting that it a sports being a jack of all trade but the master of none. Well, just let me be, I’ve supported you and all the bodybuilding crap, its time for me support myself..


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