the hope clinging..

I just needed him to say it to me, that we have never been and will never be anything else more than what we are.

I know that nothing more will happen, and we will not collide to each other. Frankly speaking, at the end of the day in this friendship upon so many reflections, I feel like Im being used. For whatever reason it was, I felt that you needed me in that point of time and I was the only one who was there. In actually fact, you needed my supported, and I full hearted supported you.

However, at the end of the day I was always the one being there and giving in. I thought that this is the ups and downs of the friendship, and that I have to just be strong and it will pass. Years pass, things remained unchanged.

I was still there supporting, but when it comes to my part I just have sucked it up and pretend that you are here pushing me do better. However, in reality you are nowhere near me at all.

People come and go, but somehow we managed to (or rather I managed) to stay for more than 5 years in this friendship. My part was giving in and your part was more of the taking in. However, I glad of being in my part, you made me feel needed, useful, something that you didn’t want to lose. Unfortunately, you didn’t know how to cherish and treasure it, so it will be there always.

People all around say that we are probably meant to be, me supporting you in almost every single thing you do in general. However people don’t really say much about you, cause Im a workaholic. Being labelled a workaholic, who however somehow managed to find time and adjust schedules for you, that was something special for me to do for what they thought.

Seriously speaking, I thought that was too (you were like something important and special which Im able to take myself away from work to just spend time with you). But reality was I needed a break from the norm, and you gave it to me, and there wasn’t anything special for you.

Being 25, and a woman, I know that Im getting old and my time in the market is gonna be off soon. Its either I be with someone who knows me, or start over the whole process of being friends. You have said words, which was probably at that point of time to make it pleasing to my ears, but somehow I still remember them..

I had my heart broken many times, probably this is one of the worse.. A silent goodbye from a very close friend, whose promises are broken. The time have come..

People around have to start realizing that eventhough this friendship lasted long, nothing more can come out of it..


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