stuck..

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As the days pass, the bits and pieces of wall started to fall off and my heart is gonna be left out in the open anytime soon. I’m terribly terrified on being broken again, and I know that this time for me get back on my feet is probably harder than it was before.

I was broken before, for a long time and its the same person over and over again. For that, I’m adaptive as I know what I should do and shouldn’t do. Moreover, I’ve been expecting the moment for him to break me and patch me up just in a matter of time. Somehow, I had to stop myself from being broken from the same person another time as I’ve had enough. Its not been a year affair, however its been 7 years, and I’m calling it quit. Therefore building up a wall..

Somehow someone came along, and the walls got weathered and some fell down to the ground. He is everything that my past was not. We sat there under the stars, and walked throughout the night.

It made me felt everything, I felt the blessing, I felt the curse and it felt so very deeply in my bones. Somewhat I wanted to feel more, but I’m afraid.

I’m afraid if what I’m feeling is just what I felt, but he don’t feel a thing.

I’m sick of being broken, then trying to patch myself back together. For years, I’ve been doing that repeatedly and now I need someone to fix me and assure me that is going to be alright no matter how high or low the tide will be, he’ll be by side fighting the battle with me, no matter what.

Maybe, I’m just seeking for a happily ever after, a fairy tale like the in the movies. My heart long for it, after years of being shattered but my head knows that it is probably impossible.

I’m left stuck in between, that is to hold on to whatever I have of myself and walk that road alone or take my chances with the one who made me felt everything once again..

I’ll take my chances, gambling my heart again..

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