it hurt me..

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you believed that it was luck that brought us together, and i thought it so too.

you are something that i was looking for, that someone that takes into an everlasting adventures and made me felt whole again.

at this moment i started to doubt where i’ll be, where i’m actually standing.

frankly its not the place i wish i was in, to have to doubt this relationship.

for once i want to be happy emotionally and mentally and not be hurt in any way at all.

i still want to feel grounded even though i’m flying the skies.

he is a rare gem, and i’m afraid to lose him therefore i’m afraid to hold him in my heart. i’m tired of being cheated and broken in every other way.

eventhough he is my boyfriend, i somehow still strongly believe that i need to save my very own dignity. it’s probably the only one i’ve got left. my heart have been ribbed out, my mind confuse and my soul is lost..

well, frankly speaking. the other day, i felt intruded, and i went to tears. he did not know the right reason, i didn’t want to break his spirit or his heart. all i did was to swallow how i felt deep inside, and wipe it with a smile. eventhough i felt terrible, i wanted to cry so badly and run away but i know noone is going to save me or run after me. i faced the music and bare my consequences.

somehow i know that my chances of him by my side in the long run is of 50-50 chance, if i were not to give in to what he actually is looking for in a relationship. i’m sorry but i’m sort off traditional, cause i would like to keep the last of me for marriage.

throughout my life, i’ve seen the worst for those women who have gave it away and i won’t want that to happen cause i would probably kill myself. and i’m not kidding.

i believe if you love someone, you will accept them for what they are and not change them.

well, if its meant to be will be..

i accept and understand if he leaves me, if he’s not able to respect me and my decision.

i’ve accept the fact that my past relationship of 7 years didn’t work because of it and i got cheated just because i’m saving it for the day.

i hope this time history won’t repeat itself.

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